|A Consenting Juveniles narrative is a first-hand account reporting the words of the research subject on his or her experience.|
Translated from the original Dutch for SOL Research.
I am damned sure that it was my decision.
by Karin Spaink
Het Parool (Netherlands), December 16, 1996
Karin Spaink is a Dutch journalist and feminist. Wikipedia describes her as a free speech advocate and social critic.
The following is an excerpt from an essay Spaink wrote for a Dutch magazine, reprinted here with permission.
Were shocked when a child shows sexual proclivity, and ascribe such behavior to outside and thus, according to modern parlance: abusive influences. But what if a child, or a youngster, does have a sexual urge? What if youre eight, or twelve, or fourteen, and you long for some kind of sexual knowledge or encounter?
In discussions about pedophilia, people tend to refer to the childs right to say no. Obviously, thats their right and children should be fiercely emboldened to turn down any advances that they dont feel at ease with.
But what does this entitlement to say no entail when we basically dont accept the possibility that a child might actually say yes? Hasnt the right to say no thus turned into a childs duty to say no? Havent we by assuming that a childs or teenagers yes must invariably be tainted inadvertently incapacitated or nullified their right to say no?
Im rather afraid that the current climate one in which sex with and between children has become a taboo doesnt stimulate any open discussion on the topic. The bad news is that such a stifled climate will make it more difficult for children to say no, simply because they cant say yes anymore and if, courageously, they do so anyway, we simply dont believe them anymore.
I lost my virginity when I was thirteen years old; the man who took it was twenty, or twenty-one. Years later, I wasnt too sure whether my decision to have sex with him was sound, but I am damned sure that it was my decision at the time. Whats more: I was hell-bent on having sex with him.. Weeks in advance, I had restless dreams, tossing and turning at night.
I was much more ready than I myself could handle. Did I throw myself at him? Yes. Did he take advantage of me? Yes. Would he have fucked me if I hadnt made all the moves? No. Do I regret the experience? No. Could my first sexual encounter have been better, in retrospect? Yes, definitely. Do I regret it? No. The experience taught me that I could own my sexuality even as a kid.
Children are not asexual, and thus, not necessar
Excerpt reproduced with permission of author.